


Fleeing and Searching

by GAKU88EVER



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, M/M, Will Add More
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11074722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GAKU88EVER/pseuds/GAKU88EVER
Summary: Tenn always thought he was running away, from Riku and he tries to convince himself with various reasons as to why but he always finds himself back to where he started.





	Fleeing and Searching

**Author's Note:**

> This is the very first time i am uploading to AO3 and it's angst with a happy ending. I would really appreciate it if you could leave me with a comment (just please go easy on me!) and that's all i wanted to say. Please enjoy this fic like how i enjoyed writing it!

Riku always wondered what went into his brother’s mind when he left the Nanase household 5 years ago. Was he thinking about the impact it would have on him, his younger brother? Was he thinking about how sad their-no- his mother will be once he left? So many questions run around and wreak havoc in Riku’s mind and he finds himself slowly drifting to sleep with unshed tears in his eyes. Dreaming, he found himself staring into his brother’s eyes, slowly he spoke, “ Tenn-nii…..” to which his brother replied with, “Ah, you’re awake. I was about to wake you up” Seeing his brother’s face smile at him made him smile too and he found himself not wanting to wake up from this dream, but of course he did. (and he finds himself shedding the tears that he was unknowingly holding in.)

________________________________________

Tenn always thought about what would happen then and afterwards. Riku’s probably mad at him, probably hate him too. But he was proven wrong by seeing his twin brother looking at him with those clear and bright red eyes of his. Riku has the door to his heart always open and welcome to those who wish to enter but for some reason, that door is closed towards Tenn. He expected this, he expected every single ounce of hate from Riku. Every time he hears his last name from Riku, his throat dries and his breath hitches and he finds himself holding it in until he ended the conversation and escapes from his brother’s eyes. Those eyes told him something that he will definitely think about on a later date, away from the prying eyes of Riku saying, “Why?” and “Come home…”

________________________________________

Riku noticed, how could he not? He and Tenn had some special connection that could never break no matter what, but it seems like that connection is starting to entangle and break. Riku couldn’t keep his eyes away from the retreating figure of Tenn. ( His back almost seems like the only thing that his brother shows him nowadays.) Riku wanted to stop him, but if he were to stop him, what words should he tell him? Even if he were to try and stop his brother from leaving him, he’d be unable to say anything to convince him to stay. His brother would only continue walking away from him as if he hasn’t seen him for 5 years. Pursing his lips, Riku turned away from his brother’s retreating figure and started to walk away with a feeling that makes him choke on air. Riku wants to get rid of that feeling but he finds himself shedding tears. Iori saw this and questioned him immediately, but Riku quickly wiped away those tears and smiled, saying, “ I’m fine! Don’t worry about me.”  
________________________________________

Things won’t go back the way they were back then. Tenn knows that, but he still stubbornly looks at old photos of him and Riku when they were young, having fun and smiling widely. Everything almost seemed alright back then, but Riku would get attacks and they would rush to the hospital. Riku hated the hospital, so Tenn was always there to lighten up the mood. Nothing stays the same, soon enough they got poor and Tenn knew what he had to do after all, this was to save Riku. Walking away with Kujou Takamasa, he desperately tried to not think about Riku and his desperate cries to make Tenn stay but he didn’t.

He never doubted his decision but some part of him wants to go back to the past and relive those happy moments again with no trouble whatsoever. Clenching his jaw slightly, Tenn closed the photo album and hid it somewhere safe. Looking at the time, he saw that his break was over and quickly went over to the practice room to which he was greeted by Gaku and Ryu. ‘I guess what matters now is what will happen next.’ He thought as he continued practicing, to surpass ZERO, to please his fans, his lovers (and to see Riku on the same stage as him, fulfilling his dreams without his precious brother by his side.) Tenn knew that Riku has to grow up without him, learn to be independent and not rely on his ‘Tenn-nii’, maybe that’s why Tenn finds himself avoiding him so much. (or maybe it’s the guilt he feels each time he sees Riku’s eyes shining with hurt and pain.)  
________________________________________

Riku met his older brother again. He was wearing that pink cardigan of his on top of a white shirt with a green bowtie. Riku wasn’t expecting to see him, in public, but here he is, Tenn in all his glorifying figure standing in front of Riku outside of a convenience store. Riku’s eyes were wide and he found himself almost dropping the plastic bag with all his bought items. Slowly, Riku spoke, “Tenn-nii….” Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, he continued speaking, “Tenn-nii, what are you doing here…?” Riku couldn’t stop himself from thinking back 5 years ago and now. He couldn’t stop the hurt and pain that he feels when he thinks about Tenn. Tenn was probably fine with his…new family. Does he have a little brother? Or maybe a sister? It hurts him but he was glad that his older brother was alright.  
Finding his resolution, what matters now is that his brother is right in front of him and Riku won’t let him go not unless he gives him the answers that Riku needs. Inhaling, Riku blinked and his expression changed before he asked his brother with a steady voice. “Tenn-nii, why did you leave me? Why are you running away? Is it because you don’t want to face me? Your brother?” Riku wasn’t about to let him go now, he needs answers and Tenn has to give it to him.  
________________________________________

Having an urge to buy drinks for himself (although Gaku did request some drinks and food.) He found himself walking down the street towards the nearest convenience store. Thinking on the way to the convenience store, he wondered what would happen if he got in an accident and TRIGGER would disband. What would happen if he was no longer able to sing? None of those will happen, Tenn tried to convince himself. Everything was going smoothly for TRIGGER, no one can stand in their way of improving and constantly rising up to the top. After buying those drinks, he will go back to practice and practice and practice again and again. Anything to please his fans and to surpass ZERO (as his “father” says.) Now standing in front of the convenience store, his eyes widened to see Riku in front of him.

Composing himself, he looked Riku in the eye. Those eyes, clear and bright red, showed hurt and pain but Tenn knows that Riku is strong, he won’t give in to those feelings of his. Noticing the change of expression and the change of the glow in Riku’s eyes, he knew, Riku was looking for answers. Those answers that Tenn kept away from him for 5 years. Tenn wondered if he will be doing the right choice in telling him the answers, it will let Riku finally let him go and no longer hurt, but the truth is sharper than any blade and it will cut. Tenn knew that Riku would only thirst for more answers after Tenn tells him the answers to his current questions, so he decided that it wasn’t time yet. He would tell him later (then again, when is “later”?) and they could finally go back to the way things were before. They would certainly go back the way they were before. Riku would forgive him and Tenn would be back home. The road to that future is narrow and with many enemies but Tenn will get to the end of that road and see the future he has longed for. Riku just has to wait a little bit more and Tenn will help him do so.

“I wasn’t running away.”

“I didn’t leave you.”

“I am facing you, Riku.”

“You are my brother but nothing will change on top of that stage. I will be your enemy and you will be mine. That is all.”

Riku will definitely revolt, countering him and making his own arguments. (Tenn knew that Riku thinks he left him, but Tenn knows that he did everything for Riku. He hasn’t stopped trying to support his little brother.) Riku grew so much, he wasn’t that weak anymore. He no longer leans on Tenn for support. He is a man now. Riku grew so much that Tenn wondered if he was the one stuck in the past, not Riku. (It was probably true. Tenn would look at their photos 5 years ago and keep them somewhere safe so that he could look at them again.) Tenn realized soon enough that in the near future, Riku wouldn’t need him anymore and Tenn would be the one wanting to be by his side. Their roles reversed, but the future isn’t here yet, and Tenn would do anything to make their shared future come true.  
________________________________________

Riku listened intently to what his brother was saying. His brother didn’t make any attempt at escaping? Riku noticed that and he was filled with hope and relief, ‘Does that mean that Tenn-nii would no longer avoid me? Will he finally come home? Tenn-nii…..’ Everything that he has wanted and searched for was all here, Riku thought, but the more he processed what Tenn had said, the more he found himself irritated and angry at his brother.

“What do you mean you weren’t running away?! You’ve been avoiding me!”

“You did leave me! Have you forgotten what happened 5 years ago?”

“… That’s a lie. Whenever we talk, you try to avoid eye contact…and don’t use literal sense as arguments!”

“That’s true, but that doesn’t mean you have to avoid your brother!”

Riku wondered why he was even arguing with Tenn, he just couldn’t get it. Would it kill Tenn to just listen to him once in a while? The answer would be-would probably be ‘No’ so why isn’t Tenn listening to him?

Riku wants to reach out to his brother and…..and…. what would he do? Reprimand him? Talk to him? Comfort him? About what? Everything and anything, everything that has transpired, anything they have missed. Once Riku clears up all the confusion he has about his brother and the ‘Kujou’ family, he will reach out to his brother, and then everything will be alright. 

Everything will be alright.

Riku convinced himself but the world seemed to be against him today. Hearing his phone ring, he cursed internally when he heard it but he had no choice but to answer it.  
The caller ID glowed and shined with Sougo’s name.  
Riku swiped left to answer.

“Riku, why are you taking so long? Tamaki’s nearly going to destroy everything! He needs that pudding now!”

“Really?! I’ll be there right now!”

“Tamaki, don’t just grab at that phone- Rikkun, please come home, I want my pudding!”

“Don’t worry, Tamaki! I’m going there as soon as I finish this!”

“Eh? What are you doing, Rikkun?”

“Um…….. Buying your pudding?”

“YOU’RE JUST BUYING THEM NOW?!”

“Yeah…!”

“Rikkun, please do it faster, I want my pudding…!”

“Okay, alright. I’m gonna buy your pudding, talk to you later.”

Riku hanged up and sighed he hasn’t even finished talking to Tenn, but he knows he really has to go back now. Looking down slightly, he spoke to Tenn. “Can you give me your number? I….just want to have it… Just in case of emergencies!” He really hoped Tenn would agree, just so that he can say he had accomplished something in this conversation. Then, maybe later, he could call him, text him or mail him, that way maybe he could fish for information? But his brother’s smart, it would be obvious if he text him too much, maybe once a week? Twice a day? He’ll think about that later when he has his number.

Gaining his number would mean that he moved one step closer in reaching his brother, and every step matters.  
________________________________________

Tenn thought that Riku couldn’t possibly understand him nor his reasons and priorities, they weren’t together for 5 years so he doesn’t expect Riku to understand why he did what he did. Thinking about his priorities, he was told or more like, ordered to keep on improving and eventually surpass ZERO by his father and he convinced himself by saying that he was doing it for his brother’s sake, but seeing him now made him question why he was even following the man who took him away from his true family. Riku seems to be healthier and Tenn almost felt proud that it was because of him but the pain he caused will never truly leave, he expected it to but it didn’t. His fans are his lovers, he said that before and he will stay true to it, his fans expect much from him and he will live up to them. He was once told that sentiment and feelings did not matter in the idol industry but he has grown to care for TRIGGER and his work (And Riku). They are his friends. Although he doesn’t want to admit it, he started to love being around Ryu and Gaku.

He didn’t say anything back to Riku, because he was right. Listening to Riku talk on the phone with his friends in IDOLiSH7, he saw Riku’s mood change in a flash. ‘So that’s how much they affect him, huh…..’ Very much like a family (He was pretty sure that’s how Riku sees IDOLiSH7 now, like a family.) But Riku keeps on coming back to him and there’s nothing he can change about that. (Tenn noticed that Riku lied but he can’t really say that he met Kujou Tenn in front of the convenience store and started talking to him, can he?)  
Looking at Riku, Tenn was taken aback when Riku asked for his number, after all, this was the first time he actually asked his number after all of their meetings. Tenn hesitated though, Riku might get hurt if he doesn’t reply and that would make their current situation even more complicated but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, they could start making small talk or talk about how their day went, they could start small and start over again.

His feelings and need winning over logic and everything else, he closed his eyes and nodded, missing Riku’s smile when he did so but it was still there when he opened them. His mind took in all that he could see and he found himself smiling ever so lightly. That smile seemed to shine even in the darkest of days and it was warm. Tenn was the opposite, he rarely smiles and he was cold. That’s why Tenn needs Riku. Riku always accepts and trusts people too easily and Tenn doesn’t trust easily and it takes him a while to accept some people. Complete opposites. Two sides of the same coin. They can’t be any more different but they’re still brothers and they might be different but they are still similar.

Tenn made sure that his expression didn’t give away what he was really feeling and simply gave his number to Riku. Riku was happy and Tenn was glad he was happy but didn’t show it. Upon opening his phone, Tenn found at least 5 new messages from Gaku, questioning and scolding him for how long he was at the convenience store. He totally forgot why he was even here. Looking back at Riku, he said, “You should go soon, your friends are waiting for you.” And so are his. Gaining a nod from Riku, he waited for Riku to leave before walking into the convenience store and buying the stuff he needed to buy. For some reason, Tenn was waiting for Riku’s text. ‘Anything that happens from that point is considered my responsibility, none on Riku or anyone else.’ He thought, everything that has happened to Riku for the past 5 years were his responsibilities because he was the one who caused it.

Walking out of the convenience store, he made his way back to the TRIGGER dormitory. He will definitely get scolded by Gaku. Making his way down the paved road, he opened his phone to see a text message from Riku, although it didn’t contain the content he expected from him.

“We’ll definitely continue our conversation at a later date! And you will give me answers!”

Tenn found himself amused at his brother’s rash behavior. He might as well surprise Riku as much as Riku did to Tenn.

“You’ll have to find me first.”

Increasing the volume of his phone, he stuffed it back into his pocket and kept walking.  
Starting over again might not be so bad. Everything will get fixed while they do.  
________________________________________

Riku didn’t know what to feel but surprise and happiness. He got his brother’s number! If Riku knew he would comply he should have asked for it a few days back. Riku was really glad that he managed to accomplish something in his conversation with his brother. He really didn’t expect it, he thought that he wouldn’t give his number to Riku, seeing that he’s so adamant in trying to avoid Riku. Maybe now, they could start talking a bit more and understand each other a bit more. Before that, Riku wants to finish the conversation they had before being interrupted by Tamaki. That conversation is, at least what Riku thinks, is the key to gaining answers from his brother. He had to go, but at least he was able to meet his brother and accomplish something during it. He should share this with the others, it would be best if they knew, maybe they’ll support him too!

With a nod to his brother, Riku walked away with a happy face. Opening his phone, Riku looked at the number his brother gave him. Holding his phone with his right hand and holding the plastic bag with all the king puddings in the world, he walked down the side walk and thought about what he would text his brother. Should he text him now? Later? Now? Riku frowned, would he even reply? Riku doesn’t want to see that his brother hasn’t replied to him if he ever texts him but you can’t go forward in your relationship if you don’t take risks and action, right?

Swallowing his fear, Riku mustered up all his feelings to just text him, “We’ll definitely continue our conversation at a later date! And you will give me answers!” Once he texted him that, he felt relieved and encouraged. After all, both of them are going forward at an equal pace now, none of them over taking the other or walking faster. Riku will definitely bring his brother home, wether or not Tenn likes it or not. 

Eventually reaching the IDOLiSH7 dormitory, Riku was greeted with a grumpy Tamaki who took the plastic bag in his hand and said a small thanks and went away to eat his pudding. Sougo was trying to keep Tamaki from eating too much but eventually he let Tamaki eat his fill since he hasn’t eaten it for the whole day.  
Taking a while to look at the whole IDOLiSH7 members, Riku felt happy to see just how happy they were, because of their success and the bonds that tie them together, they stand here, together, as a team but seeing how close everyone is, they’ve grown to be more than a team, they’re a family now.

Excusing himself from the others, Riku went back to his room. Plopping down on his bed, he opened his phone to see a new message. Seeing that notification, Riku’s eyes widened and he was filled with hope. ‘Did Tenn-nii reply?’ Thinking that, he swiped left and read the new message.

“You’ll have to find me first.”

Once Riku read that message, he smiled. He smiled because, not only did his brother reply to his message, he’s starting to converse with him a bit more and that’s a major improvement. Everything is heading the right path and Riku’s hope for the future with the two of them grew even more.  
With a smile, he replied,

“Bring it on! I’ll find you wherever you are.”  
________________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning this to be a two-shot, but I don't want to rush the ending so the next chapter will be longer. Probably twice as long. Aside from that, thank you for reading!
> 
> Edit 7/3/2017: I've been pretty busy lately so I was unable to write for the second chapter. Due to my schedule, I've decided that this fic can serve as a stand alone. I'm sorry if you were expecting a second chapter but I don't want to keep you expecting for something that may or may not come. Sorry! but there will be more fics that I might upload so, expect that!


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